A couple of weeks ago my grandmother was in a car accident. This left her badly injured and in need of constant care for a week. Since I’m currently unemployed, the responsibility fell to me, which I don’t mind. I mean, I’m home. What else am I doing?
What also happened along with the responsibility was a huge impact on my writing productivity. I know, not as important, but the thing is, I started the year so strong and was excited to only keep going up from there. Taking care of my grandma though for 8 hours was like a full-time job that left me so burned out I could barely think enough to get much writing done.
This had me worried, because once I start working again, will my writing go on the backburner again? I know the last couple of years were rough because of a full-time job coupled with school, but I thought once school was over, and with just a full-time job I’d have more time to write.
Now, it’s not a matter of time, but of energy. I do need to keep in mind that working in an office is not the same as caregiving for an elderly person (especially one as stubborn as my grandma). The emotional labor is really what wiped me out most. Even so, I didn’t want to end my streak of writing at least a little every day, even if it was just 100 words.
I started scheduling small writing tasks for myself through exercises. I also checked myself whenever I felt overwhelmed with the low numbers from day to day. I had to remember that I was performing a task that takes a great deal of mental and emotional energy, not just physical.
So, instead of thinking of my writing in terms of falling numbers, I focused on what I had accomplished. Little by little, I started setting goals for myself again and that made me feel much more productive than fretting over how much I hadn’t written.
I also challenged myself to keep up my writing numbers over the weekends, when my parents were home from work to help with taking care of my grandma. I spent three hours at the library this past Saturday and accomplished a great deal of writing that I had not done during the week. Thinking of it as spreading my numbers for the week to have the majority done over the weekend also helped assuage the guilt.
The interesting thing about my circumstances for the past couple of weeks is how much reading time I’ve had. Spending so much time keeping my grandma company when I wasn’t helping her with daily tasks left me the time to dig into more reading.
However, that reading was definitely limited to lighter, “fluffier,” reads. I could only concentrate on novels or comic books that didn’t require my full attention. Like I said, that emotional and mental labor of caregiving is exhausting, and I only had to do it for two weeks. I commend the people who do that for a living. Shoutout to all the moms out there. It’s a tough job.
I didn’t get too down on myself for not reading more mentally challenging pieces, because I knew I was still reading.
The important thing to keep in mind when it comes to reading and writing when life throws you curveballs and your routine changes, is to make attainable goals that coincide with the time and energy allotted.
More important than that, go easy on yourself. Remember that there’s more to life than books and writing, and those things will always be waiting for you when you can get back to them.